why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
