i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
