obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
