Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize