Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
