Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
