Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
