yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
