I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
