Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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