I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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