i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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