College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
