I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
