wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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