pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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