the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
