Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize