honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
