Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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