i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How external is "for external use only"?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
