Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
