I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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