Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
