just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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