The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
