it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
