Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
