she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
