sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
