My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
