The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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