this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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