My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
