Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
