Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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