Do you still have your period?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
