Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
