just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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