I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
