...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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