Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
