Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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