Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
