I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
