he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize