I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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