I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
