Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
is it fun? or sober?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
