she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
