he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
