yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
nutella sex= disaster
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
