Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm at about main and main street
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
