I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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