Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
