Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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