There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize