I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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