We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
