yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I CAN MOONWALK!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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