get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
