I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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