she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
